When it feels like every gay person you know is getting married, and you’re wondering if you should too, here’s what you should really be asking yourself.
My social feeds are packed with gay weddings. Not just longtime couples, but guys getting married for any reason, no reason and without reason.
My boyfriend and I are taking it slow, but we are starting to intertwine our lives and think about making it official. We don’t want to hop a bandwagon, but board a forever train. How can we be sure we’re ready?
Undecided Nuptials Still Uncertain, Reservations Endless
Sometimes it seems the right to marry is the right to do it like a Kardashian – without much forethought.
The good news is that other people’s choices have nothing to do with you. You can’t discern their thinking anyway, so forget them. Now there’s room in your head to focus on your own situation and ask some questions.
What needs to happen before you feel ready? Where do you differ on the big four: Politics, Religion, Sex and Money? Would you be unfulfilled if you remain unmarried? Discuss the whys and wherefores.
Find the answers together. You can’t be 100% sure, but you can enter into it more securely.
I was living with a guy when the Supreme Court legalized marriage equality. We literally put on our shoes, drove downtown, and got married in our tank tops. Romantic, right?
Now one of the first gay couples to marry in Georgia will be one of the first to divorce. Marriage changed everything. It ruined the guy I knew. Please tell guys not to destroy their relationships by getting married.
Once Vows, Everything Ruined
Breaking up can be sad and frustrating, but remember that every marriage is different, and only as good as its foundation. There’s no need to rush or be impulsive.
Look at the advice I gave UNSURE above, and ask these other questions, too:
What is your greatest failure? Biggest dream? What makes you most grateful? Who are your best friends and why? What was your biggest crisis and how did you handle it? What makes you cry?
Daddy loves his boys. He knows the answers you need, and you’re going to get them. Reach out with your burning questions via our editor, firstname.lastname@example.org, and put “Hey, Daddy” in the subject line. Warning: Advice in this column is intended for entertainment and novelty. Proceed at your own risk. If you’re in trouble, ask a professional for help.