What a tangled web we weave when first we practice to boff our besties. Some great relationships start that way, but others are headed for disaster. Let’s ask Daddy.
Well, it happened. I had sex with my best friend.
I saw it coming, but did he? If he sees it as a mistake, things might be weird. If he’s glad, there could be more to explore. When we’re not queening out and laughing, he’s the silent type. How can I find out where we stand?
My Inner Neuroses Don’t Read
Either A Definite or Rejection
Dear MIND READR:
You didn’t write in to a psychic. Like you, I have no idea how your friend feels. Luckily, we have a method to find out: Communication.
Ask how he feels. Chances are he has the same questions. Fear of the answers is worse than knowing them. It’s only weird if you let it fester.
Barring supernatural insight, something tells me if you can cut up and still want into each other’s pants, this may be a match.
I’m in love with my best friend. Half the time I think he knows how I feel, the other half he seems clueless.
He’s really bad at sharing feelings. I’d like to bring down his emotional barriers, but I’ve seen him bolt at the slightest hint somebody wants to get serious. I don’t want to spook him permanently.
I’ve made eyes and dropped hints. How can I get through?
Looks Of Valid Emotion,
Still I Can’t Kickstart
Dear LOVE SICK:
There’s a reason communication is key: It works. Still, too much is Kryptonite for people who can’t face feelings. Forcing guys into conversations they aren’t equipped to handle can be disastrous.
You have two choices. Let it go without revealing yourself, or tell him in the most non-confrontational way possible – “Hey, I’ve got this situation, and I’m wanting to know your thoughts (not feelings!) about it.” – and then still let it go. If he’s interested, let him circle back around to it in his own time.
The former option to leave it unspoken may sound harsh but is worth considering. If you’re the type of person who pushes for emotional resolutions, not only are you his worst nightmare, you won’t thrive in a relationship that avoids communication. You might be better off not getting involved.
Daddy loves his boys. He knows the answers you need, and_you’re going to get them. Reach out with your burning_questions via our editor, firstname.lastname@example.org, and put “Hey, Daddy” in the subject line._ Warning: Advice in this column is intended for entertainment_and novelty. Proceed at your own risk. If you’re in trouble, ask a professional for help.