All those posts where so-and-so seems so f-ing happy with Mr. Right Now are distracting you – not only from the reality of their situation, but from what you can worry about instead.
There I am, doing my morning scroll through Facebook World, and I see that a guy I know is posting from the airport with his new boyfriend, who he is taking home to meet his mom for the first time. Sweet right? Well, kinda.
It was less than a year ago that this same friend was married to a different guy, going through a horrible divorce, and posting his woes on social media. I got curious and went further back. Same scenario with yet another guy the year before.
I’ve taken stock of several friends and acquaintances who end one relationship and find love a second time. And a third. And a fourth. Always monogamous love forever amen. Until it’s not.
Of course, I see it through my own lens, which is a few months after splitting with my guy of several years. The last thing I want to do is go on a date, let alone be in a serious relationship. What am I missing?
So Is Nobody Getting Lasting Exclusivity?
Well, you’re not missing time on your hands. I get the temptation to stare and judge, especially when this guy puts it all out there to collect “likes” and comments, is understandable, but scrolling back years doesn’t serve any purpose but to fill your time, which is more valuable than that.
It’s true that some guys can’t be alone. Being in a relationship, not the guy himself, is the soul end-goal so that they don’t have to face themselves. People like that perpetually force the wrong person into their scenario, then they repeat the mistake over and over.
On the surface, those of us on the outside might not be able to logically justify this guy’s perpetual loop of divorce-love-divorce again. But as compelling as the gossip may be, it’s ultimately a waste of time. Without inside info on this man’s thought process, we can’t know his feelings or what’s right for him.
It’s good you brought it around to your situation. After your breakup, you may feel envious of happy couples right now, possibly afraid to dive into another relationship. Hang in there. Your timing is your own, and you’ll know when it’s right, probably right at the moment a new special someone comes along.
But do yourself a favor. Stop comparing your life to others’ social posts, though. It’s none of your business, plus you’ll make yourself miserable comparing their highlight reels to your behind-the-scenes.
Daddy loves his boys. He knows the answers you need, and you’re going to get them. Reach out with your burning questions via our editor, firstname.lastname@example.org, and put “Hey, Daddy” in the subject line. Warning: Advice in this column is intended for entertainment and novelty. Proceed at your own risk. If you’re in trouble, ask a professional for help.