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Queen, please! Trump, Twitter & the politics of shade

DONALD TRUMP NEEDS A GAY best friend. Someone to teach him how to be fierce without being cruel or ornery. Someone to teach him how to avoid being a bore, and how to avoid the mixed metaphor. Kind of like Lady Mary in Season 5 of Downton Abbey.

By Scott King

Don’t get me wrong, I’m hoping that by the time that this goes to print, Trump will have already cooked his gay goose and will be on his way to home arrest at Mar A Lago. If only Joan Rivers and Fashion Police were here to arrest him for that atrocious, ubiquitous, phallic red tie.

The thing is, if the Not My President is going to werk a posmodern Richard Nixon and post his Enemies List on Twitter, I would at least like it to be entertaining for a while. I would at least like to be able to have a chuckle like we all did when Nixon was trying to get the cameras out of the room as he was resigning from office. I would at least like the spectacle to be deserving of all those ratings he’s always bragging about.

The Hunger Games wasn’t must see TV. It was merely life or death.

I USED TO JOKINGLY SAY that you shouldn’t be able to vote unless you have seen both Paris is Burning and the original Manchurian Candidate. Now I think that qualification should apply to anyone who is running for president.

As in those classic films, a legendary queen (or Angela Lansbury) would not be seen dead with an unworthy foe. And House of the Labeige would never give a house as niche as the Swedish Embassy an open library door in which to read them at their leisure.

In addition to picking the right targets, a true queen also knows how to throw in the shade. Trump doesn’t.

SNL’s hilarious sendups of his debate performances, he just characterized as “NOT FUNNY.” When Meryl Streep exhaled her sharp, possibly overwrought, but still accurate take down of him at the Golden Globes, Trump’ s only response was that the actress is “overrated.”

You’re nobody until Trump calls you overrated.

Maybe he meant “basic.” Is “overrated” the hetero red state version of “basic?” I hear Madonna’s kids are using it all the time. And Michigan went red this time around. Coincidence?

Wouldn’t it be hot if Trump tweeted at someone to stop being basic? Like Kellyanne? In her defense, that popsicle of an inauguration outfit was not basic at all. But it was basically a mess.

IRONICALLY, TRUMP’S BEST EFFORT at being gay comes in his overuse of the term “fabulous,” which is not shady at all. Betsy DeVos is a fabulous Secretary of Education, she is doing a fabulous job, and she’s really great.

I couldn’t agree at all. Could you?

The problem with Trump’s Twitter hate, and occasional love, other than the fact that it is plagiarized as hell from Tyranny for Dummies, is that it is NOT FUNNY. It is also not clever.

It’s just the ramblings of an emperor with no clothes.

SAD!

2 Comments

    1. Nixon, Obama, Trump. None of them/are perfect. We gave Nixon and Obama a chance and look where we are. There are a lot of gays like me that voted for Trump, probably more than you think. We should a least give him a chance. And yes I did watch Paris is Burning and the original Manchurian Candidate.

      1. Nixon was a criminal, but a statesman. Obama wasn’t perfect, but a good statesman and a good president. trump is not only imperfect and a criminal, but he is also neither a statesman or a good president. Sorry you, and others, voted against your own best interest.

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