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5 Types of Annoying #InstaGay Couples

Are these guys for real? If so, we’re envious. If not, why do they go to all this trouble?

By Mike Fleming

The men of David Atlanta are already all over your social feed with @DAVIDatlantaMag, and one of the bonuses is that we get to know so many of you there. It’s great to see thousands of your creative, sexy, big, gay lives playing out before us every day on Instagram and Snapchat, as well as feedback on our more traditional Facebook and Twitter feeds. We even created a friendly remiinder list of #InstaDonts.

Of course, that means we also start to see trends, and one of them is couples with shared accounts making money, making waves, and in some cases making a public mess. Here are our Top 5 Annoying #InstaGay Couples.

Brand Ambassadors
Tons of gay men operate joint Instagram accounts with their boyfriends and make cash in branded content deals. Some say their posts have broad consequences for the community because they sugarcoat reality with aspirational captions like “#relationshipgoals” and #swolemates that first got followers, then brands noticed. Free trips, free underwear and free swag followed for making products part of their feeds.

Thirst Quenchers
Some gay couples use the photo-sharing apps as a tamer version of Grindr. They post shirtless photos, brunch selfies and portraits of themselves on swan floaties in luxe pools, all in an attempt to attract a third. Now with Snapchat as well as Insta’s copycat functions for video and temporary thirst trap posts, catch these guys in showers and more compromising positions on a feed near you.

Attention Whores
We get it, guys. You went to the gym today, and your guns look even better together. Your mixtape is coming out on the 16th and it’s fire. Your love is unfathomable. Your plate of leafy greens is astoundingly tasty. The outfit you made in fashion school contains all the design ideas. We see you.

Badasses
These are the guys who try and make you hate everyone you know for not being as edgy and sexy. Their badness is hard to wrap your head around, as you can often see them in the hottest spots or traveling the world, or performing daring feats like skydiving in the U.K or motorcycling through the Mojave. If these guys are real, your life sucks.

Marital Bliss
The kids. The dogs. The house. The yard. All those coif-tousled heads of hair and perfect rows of teeth. Our only relief comes with knowing that the sex is probably super boring and one of you is cheating. We hope. You say #relationshipgoals, we say #lifeenvy.

 

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