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Hey, Daddy! Should we make a sex video?

How to act right when your husband is boring you, or your boyfriend finally found your boundary. Sextiquette for the modern gay man.

Hey, Daddy!
After an orgasm I’d totally call a “10,” my hus-bear hauls off and says that I’m “not spontaneous any more.” Here I thought I was doing what kept him coming back for more.

The truth is I thought I was being spontaneous by not planning out every encounter and going with the flow. Well apparently now he’s bored. I really love the guy, but sometimes I just want the booty. What can I do to make it feel unstructured and impulsive?
Some Tail, A Little Extemporaneous

Dear STALE
Your man gets points for putting his sexual cards on the table, but I deduct a few for how he went about it. Instead of telling you what he doesn’t want, and that it’s you not him, he should tell you what he does want so you can give it to him. The trouble may be that he doesn’t know. It’s pretty common, actually.

What he really means is that he wants to be surprised. Luckily for you, it’s not hard to be a little unpredictable and a lot appreciated. Step into the shower when he’s already in there. Let him catch you cooking dinner in an apron and nothing else. Bend him over the dining room table and pull down his pants. You get the picture.

 

Hey, Daddy!
Even after years, the boyfriend and I are sexually adventurous in all kinds of ways. But this week he finally stopped me in my tracks: He wants to video us having sex.

My dick says go, but my head says no. What if we break up and he shares it? What if someone else finds it? I’ve never told my boyfriend no before. What if it’s a deal breaker?
Find It Later Maybe?

Dear FILM:
First off, if this is a deal breaker, you have the wrong boyfriend. You say you’ve been together for years, so don’t worry if he finally found a boundary you can’t cross.

But before you decide, are there ways to hide your identity on camera and still enjoy recording your play? Shoot from the waist down, or experiment with masks or hoods. The latter could provide yet another layer of interest.

There’s no single answer to whether you should shoot or not shoot a sex video. Everyone is different. Go into it knowing that, even under perfect circumstances, a recording of you having sex will be out there in the world. Ask if Future You is likely to want to kick your ass for that.

But in my view, your real conundrum comes down to trust. Do you trust your boyfriend not to share the video, ever, and to store it where it can’t be easily discovered? If not, my answer to this question might be the same as my answer to your first.

Daddy loves his boys. He knows the answers you need, and you’re going to get them. Reach out with your burning questions via our editor, mike@davidatlanta.com, and put “Hey, Daddy” in the subject line.  Warning: Advice in this column is intended for entertainment and novelty. Proceed at your own risk. If you’re in trouble, ask a professional for help.

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