How to break up with your iPhone

iDisdain is the new black in the tech world, but hero-like Androids are here to swoop in and break up your bad iRelationship

By Chris Vizzini

Have you ever been in a relationship that feels stagnant, uninspired and dull? Are you considering other options by eyeing what’s next to your otherwise fading betrothed? An upgrade, if you will.

Well, don’t be a dick! Work on the relationship with your boyfriend because love is hard to find! No, I’m talking about smartphones. iPhone disdain, specifically.

Chief complaints I’m hearing from iLand are lack of innovation, the poor 1080 screen resolution, the beheading of the 3.5 audio jack, a proprietary port rather than the industry standard of USB Type-C, no Quickcharge, the requirement of various port adapters, Siri becoming stupider over time, baked in app degradation resulting in crashes, to name a few.

With that, here are a few great choice Android devices that are comparable or even surpass the likes of the fruit stamped handset.

The Google Pixel XL

Google Pixel

This device is like a well-rounded gay man that’s actually single. Google heavily invested in its development and tight software optimizations in Nougat 7.1, the OS. You also get fast updates directly from Google.

The Pixel XL is an unlocked device and yours to use with any service, and that’s always the best option. No waiting for carriers slowing down the update process, sometimes by months. For iPhone folks, the learning curve is minimal. You get stock Android, which is simple and smooth.

You also get the fastest Snapdragon processor on the market, the 821, as well as 5.5” QHD AMOLED display with 534 pixels per inch for crisp viewing, true inky blacks, bright whites, a rich color gamut, a stunning 12.3 MP camera, the now commonplace Quickcharge 3.0 and Google’s new Personal Assistant only available on Pixels.

If you want a quality, no fuss unit with the freedoms of installing apps outside the Play Store and/or installing custom ROMS, for the geekier crowd, this is a great choice. You can say farewell to Apple’s walled garden.

Note: Avoid Verizon’s variant, as it’s locked.


LG V20

LG V20
LG V20

This is a device for creation. I’m looking at you, creative gays! The 16MP dual camera setup allows for regular and super wide-angle shots. There is a simple “Auto Mode,” but the V20 offers a deep manual mode for you shutter bugs. At the top, there’s a small, separate, always-on display with shortcuts to useful functions and notifications.

Where the V20 really shines is audio and video, for both listening and creation. Why? Some cheaper phones process audio by software conversion. Better phones have a dedicated chip called a DAC or “digital-analog converter.” This phone has four in a Quad-Dac!

That translates to pristine audio. There are also four mics that capture the clearest audio on a device to date.

Why does this matter? These are the same DACs and mics used for the sound in your videos. Ever record a happy birthday video, and your singing voice is the only one that can be heard? That’s because you were closest to the mic. The V20’s video record mode allows you to adjust the direction of the audio source with a simple slider that smooths unbalanced levels. Pretty awesome!

The audio is so good that it comes with an HD recording app that allows musicians to drop in their tracks and record the vocals for a demo. Perhaps not on your radar, that’s just an idea of how able this unit is for recording meetings or interviews, even in noisy places, by choosing the appropriate presets, pictured by icons. Super easy.

The V20 has a 5.7” QHD IPS display, so it’s a bit large. And you won’t get the deep colors of an AMOLED, but it’s still pretty stellar. It also has a removable back, giving you access to a replaceable battery and SD card slot for storage expansion.

The LG-tweaked Android interface is not the greatest, but gets the job done. You can download a launcher from the Play Store, which changes the interface to one of your liking – another perk of Android.

Note: Again, avoid carrier-banded variants, if you can. There is an unlocked version available on Amazon that includes a US warranty.


Honorable Mention: OnePlus 3T

OnePlus 3T
OnePlus 3T

This a great choice for the budget minded. It packs some high-end specs of top tier phones at about half the price, and it’s unlocked.

There are some slight tradeoffs here and there. The 5.5” display is the better AMOLED technology, but it comes in at a 1920×1080 resolution, not QHD of 2560×1440. On the other hand, it packs the Snapdragon 821 and insane 6GB of RAM. That’s more than some computers!

Now, I leave it in your hands. You have a good jumping off place. So hit the internet, do a little fun investigating, find the right Android fit for you, and say so long to your iFatigue.

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