Sick and tired of being single and lonely? Join the crowd of gay men on the lookout for Mr. Right and looking to Hey Daddy for solutions, whether they’re rejecting matchmakers, or down for any solution.
I’ve been single over a year and was already sick of straight friends and family trying to set me up on dates. Now my gay friends are in on it, pushing their work friends and random acquaintances on me.
Straight people think “he’s gay too” is a great reason to have dinner and drinks. My mother thought a guy she met was so friendly that she’d like him for a son-in-law. “You can’t base everything on appearance,” she said as I blanched at his profile photo.
But gay guys should know better, shouldn’t they? They’re setting me up with crazies and weirdos – sorry, but these people are actually crazy and weird, they just are – would never make a match for me.
How can I get everyone to stop it and let me find my own dates? Or at least stop asking, “Why are you single?” Ugh!
Don’t Ask This, Ever
Hetero matchmakers have always used “both single” as their only criteria, so it’s good to be in the mix of well-meaning misguidedness. Of course, it’s just as annoying and even insulting whether “the victim” is straight or gay.
Start by cutting your friends and family some slack. They think you’re a great catch, and they are just trying to help. This mindset might help when you sit them down and set them straight… so to speak.
First, decline the blind date. You’re not obligated to go, and it will help them see that their efforts are fruitless. Maybe they won’t try again so readily next time.
Then lay out your case. Point out that you are capable, and that they are nosy, in as friendly of terms as you can muster. Add that their choices have been borderline offensive. “Is this guy (“crazy person,” “weirdo,” etc.) really what you think of me?”
If you’re down for a blind date, ask a qualifying question: “Would you be flattered if I set him up with you?”
I’ve been single for a really, really long time. I haven’t had a date since Obama’s first term. I want a boyfriend, but after two long-term relationships, I wonder if I’ve already had my allotted love for this lifetime.
The guys who I find attractive don’t reciprocate, and the ones who do show interest aren’t setting off any sparks. What am I doing wrong?
So I Never Get Laid Either
It’s difficult to be perpetually single when you want a relationship. Too many of us feel your pain.
I say you’re not “finished” with relationships unless you decide to be. Of course, deciding to find one won’t make it happen tomorrow, but being open to the possibility is a great way to start.
Having former relationships means you know what you want, and what you don’t. You’re naturally pickier. It also means you have survived being single, so stop playing it safe. Take chances. Show the real you. Say what you mean. Do what you love.
Be on the lookout for similarly experienced guys you find while pursuing your best self. They share your interests in activities, career field, or sense of humor. Every great guy will cross your path while you’re living your life. Get out there, keep your eyes open and have faith.
Daddy loves his boys. He knows the answers you need, and you’re going to get them. Reach out with your burning questions via our editor, firstname.lastname@example.org, and put “Hey, Daddy” in the subject line. Warning: Advice in this column is intended for entertainment and novelty. Proceed at your own risk. If you’re in trouble, ask a professional for help.