Hey Daddy: Preference, prejudice and profiling

One likes ’em big, one likes it downtown, and another says he likes it white, neg and skinny. There’s a line between preference and prejudice, and one crossed it. How?

Hey, Daddy:
In bed, I just want to give head while he whacks me off. While most guys see it as a precursor to drive toward the booty, I’m headed downtown to 69th Street, and that’s where the train stops. Am I a freak?
—Can’t Resist A Zealous Yank

There’s only one rule in life: People are freaks. The trick is realizing that you’re one of them, because the ones who think they’re normal are the biggest sideshows of all.

So yes you’re a freak, but not for this. Everyone has sexual preferences – and I don’t mean your sexual orientation, which is your penchant for penis. In fact, you enjoy the D so much, you want it in your face when you blow your load. Makes perfect sense.

Never assume “most guys” are interested in any one thing. Be clear about your preferences, and you’ll find guys to join you for the ride. You could learn to enjoy other positions and develop other predilections, but if you’re satisfied, stay the course and forget other people’s expectations.

Hey, Daddy:
The greatest guy is interested in me, but he’s lean and nearly hairless. I can only cum with a big, hairy guy. He’s perfect, but the smoothness is a total turn-off. Help!
Brawny Obviously Better

Dear BOB:
Like I told CRAZY above, preferences are valid until they’re in the way. It sounds like your narrowly defined hankerings are keeping you from what you really want.

There are ways to broaden your horizons. You might not learn to prefer chicken over your all-beef diet, but a nice leg and thigh sometimes can become fun.

Rather than relegating him forever to the friend zone because you didn’t pop a boner when you met, open your mind to the possibilities. Meanwhile, watch porn and fool around with decreasingly hairy guys. Start with moderately hairy, then lightly hairy, etc., until you bust a nut with a smooth one.

Hey, Daddy:
I got bombarded with hateful messages just because my Grindr profile says, “No Fats, No Femmes, No Poz. No Blacks. No Browns.” I have nothing against these people, but I don’t want to have sex with them. Is that so wrong?
Bitch Isn’t About to Suck Everybody’s Dick

There is a not-so fine line between preference and prejudice, and you crossed it. Every guy has general physical “types,” but writing off entire demographics is shortsighted and rude at best, bigoted at worst.

You’ve left zero possibility to ever, under any circumstance, be attracted to one of “these people” as you call them. Knowing what you prefer is one thing; judging a person on one trait without seeing him is another. There’s a word for it, and I imagine your profile detractors used it.

Instead, imagine a world in which you usually go for a certain type but stay open to the chance that an off-type hottie might turn your crank unexpectedly. Most of us have fallen for a guy who initially didn’t interest us.

In your profile, try praising things you like instead of profiling things you don’t. You don’t have to announce why you swipe left. Then again, if conscious bigotry is motivating you, keep your profile as is – so the rest of us can swipe left on you.

Daddy loves his boys. He knows the answers you need, and you’re going to get them. Reach out with your burning questions via our editor,, and put “Hey, Daddy” in the subject line. 


    1. I think daddy gives sound advice to Biased. Prejudice and bigotry aside, it is simply unnecessary in a profile to say what you don’t what. In the book The Secret it is called the “don’t want epidemic.” Just state what you are looking for or what is attractive to you. My belief is that most people reading profiles are sufficiently self aware that they will realize if they are not your “type.” Further, if someone who is not what you’re looking for contacts you, it is easy to graciously decline their advance. I find it disheartening to observe and experience the rude behavioral responses of people in profiles and their responses to contacts. Happiness, kindness and a positive approach are underpinnings for almost everyone’s type.

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