So for years, since our caveman days even, we gay men have surrounded ourselves with lady friends. I’m talking about those women who just prefer the company of homos. Sometimes it’s due to the fact that their gay friends may not have family, or sometimes they went to school together. On occasion, it’s even because they dated, then the gay came out, and his lady could never let go. Some people call these ladies fag hags and others more recently coined the term fruit flies. So I’m going to break it all down for you! Here is Ruby Redd’s guide to the difference between fruit flies and fag hags:
A fruit fly will take you out for your birthday on a Tuesday night for dinner and a movie. A fag hag will say she is taking you out for your birthday and then meet you at the bar with a card. Then she’ll make you buy all her drinks.
A fruit fly will tell all her friends and family everything about her best gay friend. A fag hag will tell all her friends and family about the really nice guy she hangs with, and when they ask if you are dating, she’ll say, “Oh, we are just hanging out right now.” Some hags may even think they are dating you!
A fruit fly is always having fun and willing to meet her gays at the bar to drink the night away. Or at least till 1 AM, because the fruit fly knows her gay will want to hook up soon with that hot guy he has been working on all night. A fag hag will always meet you at gay bar as well, but the hag will make you buy her drinks, maybe get really upset about her ex-boyfriend she dated in high school, which might just end with her breaking down in tears. Then around 1AM when you want to hook up, your hag will be too drunk to leave, and you will have to take care of her and tell the hot guy goodnight.
A fruit fly is going to read this and think it’s so damn funny she will share it with all her gay and straight friends. A fag hag will read this and be pissed! Then the hag will put it in her purse and take it to the gay bar on Saturday night. Around 1 AM she will pull it out in a drunken stupor and ask everyone around her if they think she is a fag hag or a fruit fly. She will ask you this until you give her the answer she wants.
Don’t get me wrong. Hags can be fun, but I just really like my fruit flies! Either way ladies, if you are hanging in a gay bar and you are not gay or lesbian, the just remember that it’s not all about you! We love you and want to share our lives with you, but we don’t want to babysit or fuck you! Just come on out and chill, speak in a normal voice, no need to yell. Relax, have fun, AND DO NOT COCK BLOCK!
MUCH LOVE BITCHES