Jenna Jameson was arrested in Orange County on suspicion of DUI after her car rammed a pole (that joke writes itself) around 1:30 AM. She sustained minor injuries, for which she refused treatment, and was released shortly after being booked. Look, I get it, I was dismayed to have to pay a $60 cab fare (sans tips) the other night, but I’m also not a multimillionaire like Jenna. I’d expect this from a Penthouse Pet, but not the Queen of Porn.
On the topic of reckless driving, Amanda Bynes has allegedly been involved in ANOTHER hit-and-run incident. As you may recall, she was busted on April 6 for DUI after sideswiping a cop car (which came a week after she was pulled over for talking on her cell phone and pulled off as she was being ticketed, and was followed by her being photographed running over a curb while on her cell phone on April 12) but this incident allegedly occurred on April 10, four days after her DUI. Amanda won’t be charged with any crime in the April 10 incident, however, because police don’t have another independent witness to verify the accident. I should mention, by the way, that Amanda says she’s a non-drinker. With that being said, I’d sooner let a drunk Lindsay Lohan be my designated driver than a sober Amanda Bynes.
I’ll just put it out there: Zac Efron gets pissed on in his new film, The Paperboy (albeit by Nicole Kidman). Now I’ve never been into water sports per se, but if anyone had the ability to turn me on to golden showers, it would be Zac Efron. Consider me sold on seeing this movie.
Justin Bieber could be facing criminal battery charges after a physical altercation outside of a mall in Calabasas with a photographer. After the paparazzo blocked Justin’s car as he took photos, Justin got out and some sort of scuffle ensued. I picture this fight going one of two ways. Either Justin was like an unassuming squirrel you calmly approach to admire until its rabid ass latches onto your face and claws you, or it was like being reprimanded by a 14-year-old girl. I’m going to go with the latter.
A 22-year-old Japanese artist had his penis and testicles surgically removed, kept them frozen for two months, and then served them to five paying diners on in an effort to bring awareness to sexual minorities. I guess I’m going to have to be the one to ask it: how did an Asian man’s penis feed a whole five people? A black guy, maybe.
Us Weekly delivered yet another hard-hitting investigative report when they journeyed into the depths of Kim Zolciak’s handbag and discovered Q-tips, spearmint gum, and a wooden spoon intended for her kids “if they get fresh.” I see she still managed to leave her dignity at home.