It was a muy bonita day (very pretty) this past Cinco de Mayo. I heard a lot of places were mucho packed, like, to name a few, Blakes, Burkharts, and of course Las Margaritas (who also raised a lot of money for charity, good job guys!)…but just a few blocks down from them, another restaurant was packed, Cowtippers and this is where my celebration began.
Ok, how about they really got into the spirit and had a big ass mechanical bull out in the parking lot for Cinco! I mean, I’ve rode on plenty of things before like horses…and yeah, like horses, but never a damn bull! I came in thinking it was going to be another fun gig at the Cow Tip until the scary part came when they INSITED that I get my ass on that bull to “demonstrate how FUN it is for the customers”. There I was wearing my blonde afro, daisy duke shorts (more like Bo Duke), cowboy boots, Hooters-ish t-shirt and my signature glitter all over my face as I straddled myself on top of this ferocious looking bull, “You have to keep your legs up and don’t let them down”, the bull operator person said as I thought to myself “I’ve heard THAT before”.
Oh, I forgot to mention, as soon as I got on, the horns fell off and all I can see was the duct-tape at the end of them. I’m familiar with the security of duct-tape, but not on HORNS! That’s when he then informed me “Oh yeah, don’t hold on to the head” (un huh), so there I was wishing I went to Las Margaritas as I realized the only thing I had to hold on to was that small ass piece of rope! I’m like WTF?!
He started me off in real slow motion, he must have had the dial on one I thought. Then bitch…he went a little faster, and I was like, with a smile on my face for the customers, “Ok that’s enough, this is fun guys”. Apparently to him it meant SPEED IT UP. At this point I wish the bull was real just so I could run over him because the more I YELLED “OKAAAAAAY, THAT’S ENOUGH!!!!”, the faster he went!
They were laughing, and I was praying…but can I tell you my legs never went down! Even though they had a safety landing waiting on you with the blow up giant air mattress ground underneath to fall onto, it still didn’t seem like it would be a pleasant landing with my glitter going everywhere.
Well, to my surprise, I didn’t fall off…but let me tell you, the next couple of days, my inner thighs were super sore! I don’t think I will EVER forget this damn Cinco, but it turned out to be a lotta fun (though sore as hell). Love you Cowtippers, and yeah, that was
some bull!
UNTIL next week, DON’T read the girls, instead read The Brent Star Report!
