Happily Ever After?

January 18, 2012 | by Tristan Timothy

I’ve been with my boyfriend now for over two years. That means in gay standards and for all intents and purposes we’re married. But it got me thinking, besides the tax breaks and being seen as equal, what part of marriage am I missing out on?

 

Spending time with my sister and her husband over the holidays I realized that most of my fights center on the same principals as those of my heterosexual siblings. There are fights about household chores, spending too much time on the TV (or Grindr if it’s one of those weeks) and whose turn it is to walk the dog.  The one thing that is missing is that concrete belief that the other won’t just walk out when they are sick of it.

 

Gay dating is hard, being men and apt to goose necking every sexually attractive bipedal entity that walks our way, it’s sometimes hard to assure myself that I’m not just going to get left in the dust. I’ve been in relationships that were obviously heading down the wrong path and in those times often lined up a potential “next boyfriend” before I even had an “ex boyfriend.”

 

More so than being seen as equal in the eyes of every American citizen (which is totally important, I get it) I want to make sure that the person I’ve committed years of my life to can’t just up and leave when they please. I’m not just saying that I want to be married in order to get divorced but I think the threat of a nasty, drag out, custody battle for our dog or the pressure of losing half of your things in a breakup, might help in times where you want to throw your hands up and say “F*** it.”

 

It’s not the piece of paper that says your married or the giant reception with swans that lay golden eggs. It’s the commitment between two people. But sometimes commitments can be tested, whether by outside forces or those within a relationship.  Maybe when it comes down to it, a marriage certificate is less important to me than a pre-nup.