Black Sheep

December 21, 2011 | by Tristan Timothy

Once again I’m gearing up for the family Christmas. I really love Christmas time, but it can also be a little annoying. Travelling out of town to spend time with family members that remind you why you moved away in the first place. Don’t get me wrong I love my family, but we all have that one relative that is a little off.

For me it’s my nephew. He’s also gay and we’re close in age, only two years apart, physically. (Mentally he acts more like a scorned, bitchy, fourteen year old girl). My childhood memories of our time together consist of him breaking my toys and crying… a lot.

As we matured into adulthood it became increasingly apparent that he was jealous of me. Maybe because he grew to be a little husky, lost a little hair, and although I’m the eldest, he looks older than me. He peppers my Facebook throughout the year with bitchy, “well look who’s gained a few” comments. (WHICH I HAVE’NT!) So it’s no surprise that I dread this time of year, and spending it with him.

It’s not like I haven’t tried. But he’s weird. Case in point. On one of his holiday visit’s I decided we should bond as gay family members, both of us now of drinking age and go out to some bars. I invited my boyfriend and gave him the precursory run down of what to expect.

Everything started out well enough. After a couple dirty martinis (that he was drinking just to impress me, I’m sure.) he started to become loose. VERY LOOSE. He’s always been kind of touchy/feely.

Which, while my family expresses love in an open way, we’re as whole “private space” kind of people. So it surprised me that he was hanging all over my shoulders and trying to hold hands with me and my boyfriend.

I decided it was time to leave when people started asking my nephew and I how long we’d been dating. I kept it together and passed everything off as him being drunk until he invited my boyfriend and I to visit him in Chicago where he would take us to a “pig party.” Now I’ve never been to a “pig party” per-se but I’ve been around enough to get the meaning.

This holiday season make the most of what you have and whom you’re with. I’ll make sure to do the same, while keeping my creepy, lecherous nephew out of my personal bubble.