| 7.2.2008
Why do I often find newspapers on the bathroom floor of Starbucks? Keep your bathroom reading at home and stop holding up the line.
Maybe I am a pushover. But at least there's adequate distance between my heart and my ass.
Barack Obama: An Oprah Winfrey Production.
Done with "gay." Proudly MSM.
"If a guy is great but you’re not attracted to him," he's your friend, plain and simple. Stop obsessing about who you can sleep with.
You diss phone sex and hookups? I am not ashamed of masturbating or of having a sex life. Stop projecting your shame and self-loathing onto me, and deal with your own issues.
Mmm ... orange tan, bleached teeth, botox-mortis, frosted tips, mani-pedi, ill-fitting clothes, and a gay accent. I've never wanted you more.
Show me a gay driving an SUV, and I'll show you a strap-on. Quit suckling at the tit of prosthetic masculinity and move on.
Voting for Obama because of his race is just as racist as voting against him for the same reason.
It's “delusional" to think a 55-year-old man can be sexy and appealing? Denzel Washington is in his 50s, and he's certainly an appealing and sexy man! Who's "delusional" now, son?
Sarcasm is hot.
Enjoy your A-list days while they last, honey. Now that your hair is receding and your face is sagging, you'll be cut loose soon enough.
Now, now honey, I'll say it again for you slowly so you'll understand. Don't hate because you either won't make it to 55, or you'll look as burned out as you already do now. Try taking care of your ugly inside self, and you just might sing a different tune.
I was having fun until inadvertently wandered into the popular girl's zone. Suddenly the temperature drops about 20 degrees, and I'm getting aloof glares. Why would anyone want to hang out with people that lacking?
All my hook-ups are hung.
But I don't know how to cruise! Where can I enroll?
I was in a shopping mall and saw a guy with an enormous bulge. I followed him to the men’s room where he showed it to me. Cruisers unite.
It's not because you're “beautiful” that I don't like you. It's because you're a spoiled rotten, self-absorbed bitch.
I turned you down twice in 10 minutes in the other gloryhole booth; do you really think that I might suddenly change my mind? Go home already.
If you're fat and/or drooping, for the love of God, do not wear tight shirts.
I'd call you a whore, but you probably wouldn't find that insulting.
The term gaysian is so stupid; I prefer gaysha.
Is it me or does it seem that gay folks are turning just as intolerant as straight folks?
Why do some drag queens have bad such bad teeth? Girlz, demand a dental plan.
Not all 40-something guys want to date someone 10 or 15 years younger. I'd take Laird Hamilton over Zac Efron any day.
Honey, your "straight acting" routine is just old. Gay men don't want cold, wooden, emotionless men any more than straight women do.
Imagine a middle school for gay men. That's Bitch Session.
I actually found a cute, smart, funny, unpretentious guy that likes me too. What are the odds?
Only the mind of a drama queen could have produced all of those dark and sinister issues and reasons behind everything. I am so glad you are out of my life and I can live without "complications" and "issues."
Everyone knows that if your bragging, then you ain't got it.
I am tired of your excuses. If we are boyfriends, make time!
What's wrong with shopping at Filene’s and Payless? Don't you people realize that most wealthy people got that way by penny-pinching?
There are four kind of guys: 1. Those you want to date because there is relationship potential. 2. Those you want to be friends because there is no chemistry but they are nice. 3. Those you just want to do because being hot is all they can offer. 4. None of the above. You are No. 4.
Hey label queen: Why does buying an overpriced brand make you feel better about yourself? You're just a whore to the images some marketing folks cooked up to score your money.
Using the term "Mary" only tells us one thing. You are over 40!
It’s high school all over again. Nobody likes or has any respect for the A-list, but everyone wants to be a part of it.
I have a crush on my Wii Fit trainer.
Pride is about having pride in who you are. That's why it's called Pride, duh. It's not about limp-wristed Kumbaya.
All I have are three questions: Which mall, which bathrooms, and when do you get off work?
I dont want to grow old with a partner. I want to grow old having sex with random strangers for the rest of my life.
When my pastor goes down on me, he says he's "bound for the promised land."
Some of the hottest guys I've ever met online were in their 40s! They took care of themselves and had life experience to offer. Makes me wonder what you'll look like at that age.
You have your vices; I have mine. Drugs and other partners aren’t that different when you’re an addict.
Shut up about your wife and drop your pants.
Think of the attractive people you know. They are all different types -- but the one thing they have in common is that they try look their best and are comfortable in their own skin. People aren’t going to be attracted to you if you don’t think you're attractive.
Sweetheart, we were together for nearly three years before you let your unreasonable jealous rages completely erode my love for you. There was no love, or power, in that slap of yours.
For every reason I can think of to be "proud," I can find 10 reasons to be ashamed when I read these bitches.
Who says I need to be wealthy? I just need a sugar daddy who is.
I'll take a hot man who wears Wal-Mart clothes over some self-obsessed queen in the trendiest designer labels and too much jewelry any day.
If he doesn't want to spend time with you and keeps coming up with excuses, then you're not boyfriends, Sweetie. You're a trick. Get over it.
If you have braces, try extra hard to cover your teeth when, well, you know.
Queens will always try to make themselves feel better by putting other people down, oppressed or not.
Sometimes I hate being hot because that's all that people want me for.
The gay "community" is torn into so many fragments, I'm surprised people still call us a minority "group".
There is no A-list here! Going out in tight T-shirts to second-tier clubs does not make you A-list. Sorry!
Stop being a stereotype, and maybe you can find a decent guy.
Do you think you and your boyfriend of eight weeks can spend a night or two apart so that we, as roommates of nearly three years, could actually hang out and catch up on what's going on in each other’s lives?
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